Catalyst for Peace (formerly Catalyst Peacebuilding)

We met with Edward Jusu Abu, Program Coordinator for Children Associated with the War (CAW), in Freetown on Friday afternoon. They were the first indigenous NGO in Sierra Leone and the first NGO to work with ex-child combatants, starting in 1993. The title of this blog is a quote from our interview with him.

The truth of this quote has never rung more true than with our interview on Saturday. We went to the home of the war’s first amputee, Tamba Ngoujah, and sat with him and his family. His family is comprised of his beautiful wife, six children and some cousins. I counted 11 in all living in the zinc shack, built right into a steep hillside. This man lost both hands and is lucky to have survived his wounds. He continues to struggle daily not only due to the physical hardship of daily routine, but mainly because he cannot work and cannot provide for his family.

When the Truth and Reconciliation Commission finished their work three years ago, a recommendation was put forth to provide reparations to the amputees. The war has become known for amputations, among other atrocities, as the rebels continuously amputated one or both hands because people had used their hands to vote and put the government they opposed into power. But there has been no restitution. The great majority of amputees are not able to work and have been forced to beg on the streets to find money for their families.

Tamba said that he had not chosen vengeance for what had been done to him because of his religious convictions and because it would serve him and his family no good. But not having chosen vengeance does not mean that he has forgiven the men who chopped off his hands. He explained that he is ready to forgive, but cannot forgive, cannot heal until he is able to forget his situation. This will not happen so long as his life continues its hardship, so long as the government continues to ignore its responsibility to help its victimized citizens.

Unfortunately, “amputee” has become a synonym for “beggar” in the eyes of the community (in Freetown, certainly, perhaps in other areas of the country as well). Tamba and his wife went to a store to buy the zinc slates to build their house. He was immediately shooed out of the store until Tamba was able to explain that he was at the store to buy materials; the owner believed that he had only come into the store to beg for money. Through it all, Tamba retains an incredible sense of dignity, and he does not beg. He stands on the street corner and hopes that someone will drop “small-small” (small change) into his pocket as he greets each person that passes him with a “good morning” or “good afternoon”.

We go see (see you later in Krio),

Claire

It is unbelievably humid… The only disappointment I have thus far is that we have yet to be caught in torrential downpour… we are, in fact, here during the rainy season. I have been told that we will see more rain when we travel up north to Makeni and Kono over the next two weeks.

A few weeks before arriving in Sierra Leone, I saw part of a program on an evening news show about parents who had chosen to meet with, and forgive, their daughter’s killer. I have found that the automatic reaction for many in the U.S., and perhaps other countries, is “I could never forgive the person who murdered/victimized a loved one.” As difficult as it is to envision, one can never know what they need to continue moving forward after such an experience. The mother explained that it was the only way that she could find peace – that she had to meet and forgive this man in order to continue living her life.

We have found in our interviews that Sierra Leoneans are fantastically strong-willed and wise people. Those that we have spoken with thus far say that they had to forgive the people that committed atrocities during the war and accept them back into the community in order to make peace in their community and country, that there was no other option. Sierra Leoneans are very devout people, both Christian and Muslim, and many have spoken about the teachings of their faith in aiding their personal forgiveness process. We have also heard that forgiveness is necessary for the harmony of the community, and the well-being of the community is a vital component for Sierra Leoneans. Communal harmony is perpetually given greater priority than individual well-being. But we believe that there must be something deeper about Sierra Leonean culture that incorporates forgiveness as a natural component of it. This is not to say that forgiveness to perpetrators has come easily to any person affected by the war, but it seems to have come more quickly and easily. I do, however, have a bit of skepticism about whether forgiveness has been pressured by the community or the churches (I cannot speak for Angie or Sara), and how many people have actually achieved true forgiveness. We have certainly met some amazing men and women who have and we hope to continue to be enlightened as the days go on.

We have met with a fairly diverse selection of people from different organizations: Action for Child Protection, Special Court of Sierra Leone staff members, different religious leaders, Children Associated with War, and many ex-combatants. Thursday was an exhausting and exhilarating day, as we first went to Parliament to see the passing of three bills for women’s rights concerning domestic violence, inheritance, and early marriage. It was so inspiring to be surrounded by such courageous women and to hear their endorsement of the bill. These women have much work ahead of them, however, as one male member of parliament stated that he thought that Sierra Leone was not ready for such a bill, for women to be granted such rights.

Thursday afternoon was spent with 24 ex-combatant young men and women. I am still trying to process all of the information and emotions that passed that afternoon. I cannot even begin to imagine what has taken place internally for them to be able to sit with us to tell us their story, how they were captured, beaten, imprisoned, forced to become a wife of a rebel commander, how they watched their parents be killed, how some were beautifully reunited with family after the war, but how others were not. Forgiveness is such a crucial detail – being forgiven by their communities and personal forgiveness for what they may have done to others, but also forgiveness to those that did them harm. It is certainly not without this forgiveness on all levels that they and their communities will be at peace. We can only hope that this will also form a stronger nation that will not allow another civil war like this one to take place.

It’s going on 11 pm, the end of our first day here – Angie and I just commented that we can’t believe it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet — mostly a day of setting our schedule for the week and taking Angie and Claire to some of the places I loved last year, my first visit here.. It was on that trip that I first learned a bit about the incredible story of forgiveness that followed Sierra Leone’s horrific war. It was what made me want to come back, what made me want to learn more from Sierra Leone, and from Africa, about this remarkable grace of forgiveness – how hard-fought it can be to attain it, how transforming it can be once it settles in the heart.

A few weeks ago, when we met for a brainstorming session in Maine with Libby, she asked each of us to ask ourselves what we love about this project, what questions we love, what we bring with us as we begin this work. I had no time to write before I left, but on the long plane flights here, I had many quiet hours to consider again what brings me to this work, and I will share a bit of it here. . .. I come to this beginning at the close of a period of upheaval in my own life, a years long effort to deal with a relationship quite close to my heart. It has been a time to learn about forgiveness, to choose to forgive. And I thought I had learned something about forgiveness, until earlier this year when I found I was still cloaked in sorrow over what had been. I thought forgiving, and continuing to love, was enough. But on a very lonely and gray February day, I realized that I had not truly forgiven anything. I found that deep within myself, I still wanted the person I thought I had forgiven to be accountable to me – to fix what had been broken, to do something to repair all that I had forgiven. And, of course, that is not forgiveness, because forgiveness comes without conditions, it does not define outcomes; it frees the other to find his or her own answers in the way that they must and will be found. On that morning, I found myself offering up a wordless asking to be forgiven myself – for the lurking pride and self-righteousness that made me think I knew anything at all about forgiveness, when in fact I’d only found a pale shadow of it. That was the day that the sorrow, which had lingered so long, began to leave. I found myself beginning to learn, just at the very beginning of learning, about the true grace of forgiveness – that which truly leaves all behind.

It is ridiculous to compare the challenges of my own life with what happened here in the war. I am not trying to do so, would not dream of it. But my own wrestlings with forgiveness and what it means, draw me towards a people who have had to deal with the aftermath of a war marked by unthinkable atrocities, towards a people who have in so many ways chosen paths of forgiveness and reconciliation. I want to learn from them. I have much to learn.

I believe in art’s social presence – as breaker of official silences, a voice for those whose voices are disregarded, and as a human birthright
- Adrienne Rich

1. Wittgenstein and the early desert Fathers used to write reflections numerically—the format allowed more fluidity of thought and less structure. I’ll let my mind wander this way as well.
2. It’s hard to know where to begin with this reflection. Reading the application for voice to vision in my inbox two months ago seems both near and far in my mind. A lot has happened in a short period of time.
3. When I think about how the project came together, I am usually speechless. A few conversations. A few connections. A piece of writing. A phone call. And somehow I found myself in Portland, Maine sharing myself deeply with women I had only known for a few hours, planning the first of three trips to West Africa.
4. I had no words when I returned from that trip. “How was it?” I know this will be a question asked of me on return from Sierra Leone—I’m sure my response will be similar. It is difficult to capture and explain moments that “pop,” and when the pieces of my life fit together so well, I am left speechless.
5. I am excited to work with women.
6. I am excited to share, to laugh, to cry, to sit in silence, to understand, to question, to learn.
7. “Every profession has its own music and dance.” Adama Doumbia (a Nigerian) writes.
8. I am excited to dance in and out of professions, relationships, and places.
9. I love new languages, new foods, dusty roads, new understandings of “time,” of spirit, of life. I can’t wait to learn the nuances of language; I can’t wait to learn the handshakes, the greetings, the stories, and the wisdom. I can’t wait to feel the exhaustion that the intensity of being in a new culture brings.
10. Kono, Makeni, Freetown—names of places I have longed to see since I was a young girl and West Africans told stories around my table.
11. I am excited to break my first kola nut with a paramount chief, dancing, drumming, poetry readings.
12. I am thankful for the opportunity to go back—to return—to see the people who will no doubt leave me changed, new, reborn once more. And then to meet new faces, see new places.
13. I can only imagine the heat. The dust. The mosquitoes…
14. …the satisfaction of a bottle of cold Coca-Cola on a hot day of travel.
15. I am looking forward to transformative relationships, new friendships, the space to write, reflect, listen, and share.
16. Today, I sit with the joy of anticipation.

Literature creates imagination, imagination can change war

- Bei Dao

As I run through my to-do list “one last time” before leaving for the airport, I find myself filled with anticipation, excitement, and serenity. This will be my first trip to Africa and I am anxious to begin learning first-hand about the strength and will of the people of Sierra Leone. I am incredibly thankful to be working on this project with such intelligent and inspirational women – Angie, Kirsten, Lari, Libby, and Sara. Angie, Kirsten, Sara and I are confident that we will experience nothing short of a life-changing experience as we witness the incredible dedication of so many Sierra Leoneans to their community reconciliation and reconstruction. There is no doubt that many, if not all, of us can learn from the people of Sierra Leone about forgiveness and reconciliation, applicable to a multitude of contexts. I look forward to sharing with you our discoveries about what the rest of the world can learn from these African communities, as well as what I anticipate I will learn about the strength of the human spirit. Stay tuned!

Please take care, Claire

Hello!!

Please continue to check the website for our posts - we’ll be in Freetown in 2 days!

~ Claire